You have a problem now...but you also have the potential for a real disaster in the future! Sexual energy is tremendously powerful and can become incredibly destructive if it is not expressed in a positive way. If I understood your posts correctly it sounds like she is being satisfied sexually, but depriving you of the same satisfaction...not only is that selfish, it is nothing short of sadistic...and she is 'playing' with very dangerous fire! Loving her and being faithful to your marriage is fine...but it is not a reason to accept treatment that is so disrespectful of you and denies you of something so important. That she refuses to even discuss it is alarming. She may have all sorts of problems with her sexuality (conditioned inhibitions, history of abuse, etc.), but none of it is an excuse for disregarding your feelings and concerns. It sounds like she's using sex as a means of control and reward or punishment rather than an expression of love. You need to determine how long you're willing to allow this to continue and let her know how unacceptable it is. If she continues this behavior and refuses to address it with you...it should tell you a lot more than how she feels about sex. Her needs and feelings are no more important than your's!