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Re: Frustrated newlywed
 
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Published: 22 y
 
This is a reply to # 60,431

Re: Frustrated newlywed


You've been very loving and patient with her, and she knows it and is selfishly and wastefully taking advantage of it letting you continuously and completely sacrifice so much of your life for her without returning any effort to make the marriage grow. I know what self-sacrifice is like and the reputation that a kind and gentle person ends up with...DOORMAT. Then, after years, you realize you've allowed them to run roughshod over you because you always wanted to be Mister Nice Guy, but now you realize that you were actually Mister SELFISH Guy by neglecting your responsibility to nurture the relationship. And then you realize that you can resent them for always committing their "deed of human nature", but at least their destruction of the relationship is due to human nature (not knowing any better) instead of neglect. Knowing this will effect your self-esteem, conscience, pride, ego,enjoyment of life, sense of morality, sense of ethics, etc. The consequences of Extreme gentleness are only poetic justice, and are just, I think, because the other person doesn't know any better. But your bride can be made to know better, she wants to know better, she is trapped inside her own pity. She wants to be rescued, but has too low a self esteem to impose that request upon you. Explain to her that you BOTH must work this out so that you both enjoy each other. Of course don't force her to do anything except listen to you (hear you out) AND understand how important it is that she confides in you (she has had a bad experience that still haunts her). Be her "White knight".

God Bless You Mister Nice Guy

 

 
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