Re: Frustrated newlywed
Not sure what is going on with your wife-ee, but it's damned odd. No reflection on anyone, please don't be offended.
If lubrication is a problem then you might try Dannon Fat Free Plain Yougart.
I know, it sounds weird, but it really works well. Yes, it can be a bit messy so you may want to put down a towel. The lactic acid helps acidify the vagina (a natural condition), and the live cultures actively fight vaginal yeast infections on a preventative basis.
It's easy, it's cheap, it helps protect against yeast infections, it's widely available, and it really works well. No, it does no harm that I've ever found.
And, it lubricates without exposing your loved one to the silicone in conventional personal lubricants.
Better all around.
And, if you take a small cup to bed with you, and put it on your penis, you can be in and personal without first having to spank the monkey her.
Then, you might find more about what her real reasons might be. Don't overlook the idea that your wife may have been sexually abused at some point in the past. Doesn't have to be her family at all. Tread lightly here.
You may need to get her into counseling, but better if you can work through this without.
The yougart is also effective if a woman wants to apply this internally before a romantic encounter, but your wife may not be willing to do that.
Good luck.