Frustrated newlywed
My wife and I have been married for over a year now, and I feel I'm starting to go insane. The bottom line is that she only wants sex once a month, and the "monthly installment plan" seems to be set in stone.
When we first got married, everything was fine. Once the honeymoon was over, the nightmare began. Every other night or so, I would try to initiate things. Since she's a little dry to start, I always spank the monkey her before I even think of doing anything. Every time, she then asks me to go wash my hands before I come back upstairs, and by the time I run back upstairs, she's asleep. If I try to excite her again, she shrugs me off and says she's too tired.
At this point, there's nothing I can do, and I'm far from tired. I lay downstairs and watch Conan O'Brien and other late-night stuff until I eventually get tired again, usually between 2:30 and 3:00. This took its toll on my physical and emotional health, and after a few months I learned to stop trying. The funny thing is that after I stopped trying to initiate things, we still had sex once a month, regular as clockwork.
I've tried talking to her about this, but she won't talk about it. The first (and last) time I used the term "monthly installment plan" I got the silent treatment for a day and a half and went almost two months with no sex. I've asked her several times to see a doctor about this but she flat-out refuses to.
I give up.
I love her dearly, and could do nothing to hurt her, so leaving or cheating is not an option. I just want her to want me as much as I want her.
What can I do to save my sanity and our marriage?