It was lovely to hear that from Janaki and now yourself. Im not sure if its quite sadness, possibly more a longing to be together. It feels so incredibly 'right' and complete when I dream about her. It's as if everything appears like flowing silver light and my body and heart feels blissful.
I think there is something that resembles sadness or abandonment, but that is likely coming from myself and the guilt.
Also, just on the topic - I am in the most wonderful relationship, very committed etc. We are both sure we are mean to be together. The thing is, we are so incredibly close and share everything, but I have not told him I had a termination. We both believe that past is not to be hung up on, and we never delve into particulars about past relationships etc, as it can bring up mixed feelings etc... we just love each other and get on with OUR future. I often feel I should tell him, but I am unsure how he will see it. I know he wouldn't react badly, but this is something so close and personal to me that I feel it is better just not exposed. He is very strong and loves my strength, and doesn't like relationships that dramatise everything. There is no sort of selfish 'i need attention' behaviour between us, and I don't like to make a fuss.. at the same time, I kind of want him to know this is always in the back of my mind.
What do you think..? is it something he should know or something i am okay to keep to myself. I know i shouldn't really even need to ask this question, I just don't know this time.