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God I can't stand This!!!!
tearful Views: 912
Published: 19 years ago

God I can't stand This!!!!

Hey people, I'm hoping some one else here has had a similar experience to the one I'm having. First off I'm male and 23 and my ex-girlfriend (or not...) is 19 going on 20. We had been dating for about a year and we fit perfectly together. We had fun doing things together, we hardly fought, had an excellent love life and we were crazy about each other and we always told each other how much we loved each other and how crazy we would be to give the other up. Now all of the sudden she demanded a break, possibly a permanent one because she is confused as to what she really wants. She says that there's still a chance but she gaurentees nothing and doesn't know when, but for now she wants me as a friend. Her little sister says that she has a lot of feelings for me but she needs her space and says that she would like to get back together with me some time and possibly have a future. I asked one day what she had been thinking about and she said that she's not sure if I'm the right type of guy for her right now. She said that she's always had a boyfriend by her side and started to want to know what is was like to be without one. But yet one day (after the break)I blew up at her because I thought she went and started to go after when of my friends, she said that it was a big misunderstanding (and it was) and she was so sad because she thought she lost that chance. Another time I asked if I could go see other people during this break and she reluctantly said ok and that "I wouldn't want you to be alone in the mean time." She later admitted that it kind of pissed her off that I asked that. She had said that she started to feel kinda cramped a couple of weeks before our 1 year mark, coincidentally (as I so recently found out) at about the same one of her best girlfriends shows up for summer break and this friend is notorious for just being carefree about partying and guys. But now that friend has a BF(recently) and as well as another good friend who she usually parties with, so they can't keep her company as much anymore. Her mom talked to her a couple of times and says that she thinks that she isn't ready to handle the stresses of a long term relationship and sex. I talked to my now current ex just last night and she said that part of the problem was that I was kind of a depressing person to be around and she felt as though she carried the weight of some the problems that I had and that she wished my life was a little more organized and happier. She felt like she was dealing with marital problems. I asked her why should couldn't just say "no" that we couldn't get back together and she said that it would be rash to say that right away. She said that I've treated her the best out of any guy she's ever dated but that we just didn't fit anymore and that she was frustrated. Thats why she says that she just wants to see what will make her happy and possibly figure out what type of guy will fit her better. She says she wants to see a stronger, happier me but this is one of the most depressing things happening to me right now. I hate this, she is what I've been looking for all along, and I know she will going around dating other guys(not looking for anything serious tho) but she won't she wont just let it be a clean break. She even said she has a slight interest in someone but she isn't even sure why(he's got way less going for him than I do and less attractive to boot). Is she really that confused as to what she really wants or is she just giving me just a really huge wake up call and biding her time until she feels its right? Or does she want to just have some fun (read:"sewing your wild oats") and then plan getting back together with me? I'm never going to date again if I lose her. This break up thing gets worse for me every time.

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