Hi, I might be getting in the middle of something here and opening a can of worms I don't need to, but I came a very tough realization lately for myself (I've been sick for a long time and pretty much lost all of my twenties and half my thirties) - what do you think about the idea that we create our own reality? In an everyday sense, and also in a larger, sort of metaphyscial sense. It took me a long, long time to come to terms with my own blocks to wellness and to pull out of the victim mode - believe me, I have been on the inside of some heavy duty misery,both physically and mentally, and it's a very, very hard pill to swallow - the idea that we are the creators of our own suffering in one way or another.
I keep recommending a book and videos to people because it has helped me so much to get a perspective on things: "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle (a very easy read) and "The Flowering of Human Consciousness" - video. He's a non-religious, enlightened spiritual "teacher" who started out as a really emotionally tortured soul and sort of broke into a higher consciousness. You could probably find them used online somewhere. It really helped me put a lot of things in perspective and feel much calmer and more centered.
By the way, since you're working on candida, have you tried the Threelac & Hydroxygen yet? They have both helped me TREMENDOUSLY, and it's only been a few weeks. I have tried EVERYTHING before this, and so far I'm getting fantastic results. I guess what I'm saying, though, is that I don't think "cures" will not be found only with diet and lifestyle changes - I really believe there's a strong spiritual/emotional component. Especially for particularly emotionally sensitive people.
Oh, just thought of one other thing - they were giving the book away at the health food store written by that guy Jordan something who came up with the Garden of Life products. I read about his whole tortuous journey with Crohn's - he was about to die, as well, and to me it sounds like he tried everything under the sun, but ultimately had some sort of divine intervention that occured after a prayer in the small form of a new product/diet that his dad found for him - I think it was the soil-based microorganisms and the biblical diet. My recollection is that it wasn't dramatic, but he had just enough improvement little by little to give him hope and to keep going, and he wound up recovering his health completely. It's quite an inspirational story, and I don't get the sense that it's just made-up marketing hype. You could probably just go down to the health food store and read the first chapter without buying the book.
as for the other posters who have offended you, I don't know, some people are more thin-skinned than others, and I guess it's good to remember that things like tone and facial expressions get lost in written words, so advice that comes across as insensitive may not be intended as such. ANyway, everyone is different in their language and approach to things - some are more nurturing, some more to the point or even gruff, (I'm long-winded, in case you hadn't noticed), it's all useful and was probably sent to you for a reason in a cosmic sense, eh? I've been hangnig out in these forums for close to a year, and there's no malicious intent here. I've learned a lot of important stuff from other posters, and I've personally just spent an hour and a half on a Sunday trying to offer whatever info I can to some people who it might help, putting off a large pile of work. Just take what you can use and let the rest roll off you. Your health suffers more when you hang onto anger and hurt.
Good luck. You sound like a survivor, and like the type of person who can accomplish anything you set your mind to.