I've always heard that women love married men. I can't say it's true. But the most important thing to remember is that people aren't thinking about "your" feelings when they are having sex. All thoughts go out the window, for both parties involved I would imagine.
I will say this and please don't get offended. Most (if not almost all) women turn into something else after they become "Mom". They are no longer "Wife". They are no longer (as) interested in their man or sex. They are now focused on the children and homemaking. Men cheat on their wives because THEY NEED SEX. It's not a want or a desire, it's a physical and physiological NEED. If you cannot satisfy a man sexually, he WILL find someone who can/will. I would hope that most men would satisfy themselves to supplement the lack of sex. But I believe there is a much larger problem when it's not just lack of sex but also lack of affection at all. A good indicator is whether or not the man is looking at other women, watching p 0 r n etc. A satisfied man has NO DESIRE to look at or be with other women. That's my opinion anyway.