Dear Sister 19465 (though we know that's not your name),
It's not polite to ask anyone's age, so I don't usually, but...
For a married couple of 50 who have enjoyed many years of safe secure marital bliss and they would think it nice to surprise each other with a new nightie or a back massager or other treats, great. If you're both 85, it can be total bliss to bask in the warmth of just enjoying each other's company.
If you're real young and have been in a steady state of sexual tension for a long time, I am pretty slow about thinking that novelty is the answer. Maybe the answer is a little extra clarity about physical and life goals?
Most young unmarried men don't need to be encouraged when they are alone with their true love. If you have to ask for explanations about where he is spending his energy, maybe he is a little shy about commitment? Or a little weary of waiting for marriage and sex?
(Is that helping at all? If not just roll your eyes and say "Oh, these forums attract just anybody," and go right on with your day.)
I'm not arguing with your choices at all! I would just like people to feel nurtured and comfortable in a growing relationship. Maybe a really good wise caring Christian mentor (or a Christian mentor couple) can shed some gentle compassionate light on what you would both like, and how to support each other's future path?