You really have a gem of a girl there...a true virgin. Don't be in a hurry to enter the forbidden zone. Obviously this is traumatic, life-changing event for her. Don't be a pig and ruin it! You want to get on with the great sex, I know I know, but understand what a marvelous young woman you've been blessed with and let things move at her pace. If she's 21 and you're her "first", you just may have hit 3 cherries on the slot machine of love! Never ever rush a girl like this and never ever give her a guilt trip over "non-performance". Never. This is one special woman you met, realize that fact. If she can't take it all in...well, what do you think cold showers are for, big guy?!!!