In re-reading the thread, it sounds like he doesnít cherish you like he should. Now, I know that for myself, I was raised in a pretty un-loving family, and I have a wonderful wife who is patient in helping me show my emotions and I have grown a lot! If your hubby is willing to open those doors, then things can get better, but it takes time. It sounds like heís got psychological issues that need to be sorted out before he can give in and be more loving. Heís putting up walls and thatís where the jokes are coming from.
I guess you just have to decide for yourself if it's a deal breaker" and go from there.
In response to my self control, I know that morally what I did was wrong, and if I've failed to say it out loud in here, then there it is... I still stand by my decision to experiment the way that I did. Sure, if I had come to those questions about my sexuality before marriage, it would have been optimal to do it before, but it didn't happen that way.
My choices were to break things off with my wife on a "what if", or do what I did. And had the "what if" turned out to be "damn, I'm gay" then I would not live a double life. In my situation, good head, was good head, and I'm open minded enough to not be grossed out by it being from a guy.
The lines of straight, gay and bi-sexual are pretty blurred, and I believe, in my heart, that I am straight. Since the encounter, I haven't had curiosity about being with men, and before the experiment, I had those curiosities. I know this may be a horrible example, but how do you know you don't like broccoli, if you've never tried it?
I apologize to paulista, your thread has been de-railed, we are here to try to help you sort out your decision about having OS outside of your relationship. It's been said that if he's disrespecting you by mocking the smell, he's kind of a jerk. I know that I've made those comments in past relationships, and I learned that only guys think it's funny. Women are sensitive to those things, and rightly so. It IS disrespectful to say that any part of your partner smells or is unattractive. He should be kneeling at your alter and giving you mind blowing orgasms weekly if not daily!. I say stop giving him head, and only give it to him if he gives it to your first. And tell him you won't do it because his butt smells. (Iím only kidding... a little! :) )