Athena, What you feel is right because you feel it and it will come to pass unless you change how you feel from within. A lot of cultures feel as you do from a spiritual sense that this lessens the amount of vital energy or essence especially the solo act viewed as selfish causing a loss as opposed to a sharing of energies within a relationship. A lot of non-partnered people have realized the ability to transmute this sexual energy by drawing upwards to nourish the brain as well as spiritual centers. I can tell that you realize this so its up to you to pursue experiences from the base or lower chakras or to transmute to the higher chakras and nourish yourself rather than lose that energy. It is true in this sense that a man loses more essence than a woman.
Carnal vs. spiritual for your recognition for your path that you have chosen, for others their path is what they desire.