Re: playing with yourself, spanking the monkey
Eh, I find playing with yourself, spanking the monkey physically stimulating, but emotionally boring. Considering it takes focus for me to channel at the very least 7 or 8 modes of thought into 1, trying to be alone and focused on a fantasy, no matter how erotic, makes solo sex seem too much like work for me, personally.
Could be lots of reasons for that, but I honestly don't believe I was actually born that way. Thanks to pre-school aged molestation, I learned to disassociate very young. Also, never underestimate what true hunger can convince you to do, especially when you factor in being homeless [emotions are something I found ...inexpedient for a while (put the pieces together).]
Add to those that I naturally spend almost all my time tinkering around upstairs following mental rabbit trails in multiple directions at once and solo sex is just one of many trails and not always even a tempting one. It's actually very easy for certain personality types (like mine, for instance) to mentally flip a switch and place sex on the minds back burner; especially if assured that really great sex can and will be had at a slightly later time frame. Considering my husband is sexually extremely attentive and highly skilled, that assurance for me is rock solid. ;)
Could I spend time to change it? Probably, if I felt it necessary, but for years, even when single, I really haven't felt the need. Actually, I much prefer it this way - I had many years of, hmmm, intense sexual submersion and honestly don't feel like anything was missed. Do I *know* what pleases me? Oh, you betcha! And so does my husband - and it's just more *fun* when he does it! lol For me, good sex can be physically and mentally stimulating, but Great sex is emotionally, physically, and mentally stimulating. I'm at a stage in my life where I prefer not to settle for just good sex. ;)
Now, give me a partner whom I'm emotionally attached to, especially one who is, shall we say, gifted in numerous areas, and I can focus on sex for hours and hours! Yet another of the absolutely incredible reasons I'm an ecstatically married woman. ;)