Our third child (a boy)is now 10 yrs old & we experienced similar problems with him from the age of 18months. He was very aggressive, uncontrollable at times, extremely active & climbed everything in sight. He had the attention span of a flea & made us tired just watching him. When he was a todler I had to stop taking him shopping as he would run across every road in sight, throw the most terrible tantrums if he didn't get what he wanted & rip out my hair. His concentration span was non-existent.I was a nervous wreck so learned to avoid stressful social situations which made me feel like a failure. This was after having two children whom we had not the slightest problem with.
Anyway, after lots of specialists, being kicked out of pre-school because the staff could not handle him we found a pre-school with the most beautiful, patient special needs teacher who worked with him & we eventually placed him into school (at the age of 5). He remained extremely difficult with no fear or brakes in place(in his head to warn him of danger). I made so many calls to the poisons information ctre as he used to find all sorts of tablets & take them. He used to jump of roofs, go bike riding (with other peoples bikes) in the nude & end up with lots of injuries. We were continually taking him to the hospital!! After lots of consideration we consulted a ADD specialist & he performed lots of tests & put him on medication immediately (this was at 4 yrs old). I have to say that I am anti- meds (my children do not take any medication unless it is of the utmost importance)so this was a huge step for us but we felt that he would injur & accidentally kill himself if we didn't take that step.
I have tried to think differently with him for example when he was extremely agitated or aggressive I would let him go & dig a hole in the lawn or bang something with a lump hammer. It worked like a charm. I also kept him extremely active.We also used behaviour management & I focused on his good behaviours & ignored the rest. This was very hard but it worked brilliantly! I don't believe that they choose to be naughty (but they crave the attention of it)& their self-esteem really takes a beating.We also consulted a Naturopath at the age of 2yrs (he has lots of preservatives /colour reactions) & that became part of our program. We also used efalex but I don't feel that it made a lot of difference (but it worked wonderfully with our two older children who are dyslexics).
My heart skipped when I read your post as it is such a difficult thing to address & cope with. But keep going & do things step by step, little by little. He is very lucky to have parents who are obviously so concerned & willing to support him as their are alot of children who do not. It will pay off if you keep perservering! I wish you all the very best in your journey with your little boy.
Our son has been off meds now for 4 years in April this year & he is doing wonderfully. We still tread a fine line with him but he attends school, has lots of friends, is very bright & is a brilliant sportsperson. He can still be extremely annoying,busy-busy, still explodes if frustrated or if he has alot of the wrong type of foods but overall he is going great& is learning to self-monitor & remove himself from heated situations. At the school that he is attending the teachers do not believe that he was once diagnosed with ADHD/ODD so that is such a compliment & I am so proud of him!! You will learn by your child how to handle him. I believe with patience & perserverance that our son will grow into a responsible, caring, talented, happy, very active & busy adult.
Never believe that everyone fits into the same little box,we are all individuals with our own special attrributes & society
cannot dictate to us how a person is. It can become very isolating some times so surround yourself with people who are understanding, supportive & forget about the others(or at least limit)those who choose to criticise or make judgements. And keep standing up for his rights with the authorities as he can't do this for himself.