"family" and sharing....

My grandpa died Christmas eve, and I finally accept the gift of words--that they can be given to me. Not perfectly. But to comfort and teach ME. My grandpa was not 'really there'--and I'd moved away 15 years ago. But as I was thinking of my grandpa, lying there quietly so my circadian rhymns could 'do their thing', heres what came (I opened my eyes and wrote at 5 am)

Ah George Joseph M...
What a perfect gift
God gave you for Christmas—
To release you
from your shell of a body.

I can picture you,
rejoicing
that your keen mind
is clear once more;
and your kind heart
and sense of humor,
even at this moment,
are bringing smiles of delight
to your friends and loved ones
who, having passed on before,
are meeting you there.

I am so happy for you
that you got what you wished for
for Christmas,
and I am grateful for the gifts
you have given me in my life;
the gifts of love and attention
from a warm hearted Grandpa with so much to give,
Thank you Grandpa George,
You gave me the true gifts
every child longs for--
an abundance of love, attention, and time.
I remember riding on your shoulders,
Holding your already shiny bald forehead
while we roller skated down the sidewalk,
(and grandma fussed).
I remember you reading me, not stories,
(which I’m sure you did)
but articles from the “Art Linkletter Encyclopedia”
and each week we picked up a new volume
at the grocery store.
And you were the kindest audience
a performing child could ever had,
as you listened to me sing and dance
to my little record player.

And then, you let me go,
returning me to my family,
stronger, more resilient,
backed by your love
so I could face the lions, tigers,
and dragons of life.
You returned me to my family,
the place you knew I needed to be….
rather than take me with you to Germany…
and I cried, broken hearted (for I’d eavesdropped)
that you would leave me behind,
even if for my best good.

Now you go on,
and, I,wiser and older,
no broken heart here.
I smile to think
how happy you are now
back to being your true self once more,
your shell of a body left behind.
I am happy for YOU.
It is Christmas Day,
and the babe whose birth, life, and gift we celebrate
has now wrapped you in his love—
the perfect present!

Merry Christmas Grandpa,
what beautiful timing—
and I too
am thankful
for knowing you,
and for this season that gives us all peace
and grants us the blessing
of a joyful Christmas day.

Your loving granddaughter,
pj

I just needed to share...this 'awakening'....I've been 'told' my gift of words could help heal....but I needed to understand it....and I'm almost there. And the person I must heal first is....me.

thank you Andreas, and all here.
pj


ps. I'm still struggling with not sleeping well....
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