Thanks very much for responding to my post. I think that I am myself holding on to my health problems so that I can continue to relate to the world as always. I have a tendency to eat and drink incorrectly even though I know it to be wrong??? We (I) have so much to be thankful for - jobs, family, good housing - and we naturally want to protect that.
At the moment I need the support of my family home as I am studying full-time. And I need the support of my work colleagues (part-time job). I feel that I need to go with the flow to an extent and this is the tension I feel between what I am learning about the 'right' way to live and the way that I/we have been living.
It seems slow and agonising progress but I am learning and growing and I guess that's the whole point.