My cutting would usually go in phases because I'd try to not do it for awhile and then it would get bad. This was over a period of several years with about a 2 year period where it was really bad.
I thought that like my depression, it was because of some deep psychological sickness that I of course was to scared to talk to anyone about. I thought that's just how I was - crazy, and I had no idea that other people did it too. I thought it was something so bad that neither drugs or therapy could help. I was WRONG. Well, I was right about the drugs/therapy thing not being the answer, but I was dead wrong in thinking I was crazy.
Now maybe I'm totally off-base here so I will only tell you what MY theory about all this cutting business is.
But first, the other views: I have read about this subject - there is a book called "Cutting" that I read, and everything I have read from standard medicine is hogwash, in my opinion. These guys haven't a clue, not a glimmer of an inkling that they are looking in all the wrong places to define this illness. They lump it with Depression and psychosis and "pre-suicidal" impulses. And so their way of treating it is as western medicine would treat these things: Scorn, psychological counseling (laughable since they don't know what causes it), and of course heavy heavy drug pushing. They whip out their DSM-IV and lump it in with some other problem.
So how did I heal myself completely? It was sort of a backwards approach. First, I cured the affliction. Then, I sat back and figured out how I did it.
Ali's Grand Theory:
Cutting is a disease of blockage and toxicity. It is not primarily psychological in nature, it is PHYSIOLOGICAL. It is your body, simply trying to survive.
What happens is, when you are in pain from Depression (blockage and toxicity), one of your bodies' DEFENSE mechanisms is to seek ways to get the old endorphins going. Endorphins are our natural pain killers. And somehow, even though we may not be in physical pain, the body is trying to tell us that SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT in our system. We are in mental pain (perhaps blockage of neurotransmitters) which although it doesn't hurt like a broken arm, is still mentally and emotionally painful, as anyone who's been through this can attest. So, you cut to alleviate the pain temporarily.
So the good news is that you're not crazy! It's just your body giving you some signals! That is why you get the feeling of soothing afterwards. That satisfaction. Lovely endorphins. Endorphins that are blocked and need a very harsh stimulus to release more. That harsh stimulus is the cutting. Your body prioritizes things it needs to deal with, and when you cut and have an open wound, your brain says "aha, Code red" and it can for a short time release more endorphins than it normally would.
How to heal:
Strictly the awesome Curezone protocols, CLEANSE. Cleanse your heart out. Cleanse all those blocked receptors. Most of your serotonin is produced in the gut so you want to start a Bowel Cleanse first. What worked for me was Dr. Schulze 's Intestinal formulas #1 and #2. Bowel cleansing is absolutely crucial.
- Get nutrition that is ABSORBABLE in your system. Chances are, you are so toxic that you may have trouble assimilating nutrients even if you do change your diet. What worked for me was Dr. Schulze 's Superfood. Also get a juicer and start juicing! Juice using things like parsely, raw organic garlic and ginger.
- Start liver flushing! Your liver cleans your blood. Flush every 2 weeks until you stop getting stones out.
- Other things to consider are the Water Cure and rebounding and if you persuse this site there are many more. Also read about foods that kill .
- Most importanly, LOVE YOURSELF. Honor your body as it is going through this process, thank it for giving you this wonderful warning that it is toxic. I know I railed on all the psychology crap above, but I do want to underscore how important it is and what a relief it will be to go through this process knowing that YOU ARE OK and a good person who just has a body that needs detoxifying.
As soon as I started detoxing, the cutting stopped. This was 3 years ago. Rub vitamin E oil on the scars (I just get the capsules and bite them open) or whatever and use that time that you are massaging in the oil to pay honor to your body and to thank it and love it.