Several years ago I was in a similar situation. I know your pain. Even now, with all the evil circumstances going on in the world, I still have peace and joy in my heart. God is the only one who can bring this joy to you. At the time I was going through my similar trials, I was a Christian. Being a Christian doesn't exempt you from these thoughts and feelings, I know. I also know that Satan will do anything to make us ineffective for God. You can and will get past this. One of my favorite parts of the Bible is "...and it came to pass." I believe you are going through a trial. God has a wonderful plan for your life!
Here are my suggestions:
1. Pray, pray, pray
3. Read God's Word (the KJV is best, in my opinion)
4. Find a Bible believing church with other believers that will help you through this
5. Get busy doing God's work
6. Turn off the t.v. and don't go to movies
7. Eat properly and exercise
Here are some scriptures for you.
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
"As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you..." Isaiah 66:13a
"...for I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow." Jeremaiah 31:13
"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
"...I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation." 2 Corinthians 7:4
"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
"Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say rejoice." Philippians 4:4
" Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:6-8
I suggest reading the whole book of Philippians; it's great.
"...rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also; knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience experience; and experience, hope; And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Romans 5:2b-5
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35,37-39
There are scores of wonderful scriptures that would take me days to post. I hope you will seek God in His Word.