I can relate very much to your post. I didn't used to be like this. Through sickness, I became a different person and I haven't been able to pull myself out of this mire. I am lazy, unmotivated, frustrated, afraid, etc, etc... During these times, it's important to remember that God is our strength and the stonghold of our salvation. We can do anything through Him who strengthens us. At times like these, the feelings of closeness to God may not be present, but prayer, prayer, and more prayer is the remedy. I don't have any great, breakthrough advice... Just keep the faith. Stay strong in Him. I know at times, it can feel like "what's the point?" but in our weakness, He is strong. I wish you all the best in your endeavors. May God bless and keep you.