I am responding to your message mainly because you mention being down,stressed, depressed, and paranoid. Well, yes, music helps quite a bit, but if you really want to do something for yourself then look into EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique. You can learn to do it for yourself and remove some of those negative feelings. Then your music will really soar! Look in on EMOFREE.COM. You can download a basic manual on how to do it for free! An 87 page manual.
If you have any problems using it, well perhaps we can figure out how to email each other, and I can give some clarification.