How can I encourage my b/f to get help when he denies he needs it?
Hi,
I have been with my boyfriend for only half a year. I've been in denial about his problem until last weekend. I've lent him money, gone a month without hearing from him and gotten so many phone calls and unexpected visits in the middle of the night.
Last weekend, I came home after a night out with the girls to find him standing on my porch. He was jittery and couldn't stand still. We went for a walk and he was not acting normal. He told me he wanted "to have fun" with me that night. He has no money, I have to pay for his bus fare when he comes to visit, so he needs me to give him enough money to take a cab to and from his friend's house, and to buy himself some coke (I have never done it and never will).
I refuse of course. For four hours, he pleaded with me, he guilt-tripped me, he got angry with me, he threatened to never speak to me again, he cried begging me. I cried too, I couldn't bear to listen to it. He would alternate between desperation for money to telling me how depressed he was and how he wanted to kill himself.
I know I should not be in a relationship with him. I have broached the subject of his addiction a few times. He claims he is not addicted, he is just having fun before he starts school in September. I am at a loss. He has no support network. His parents will not help him in any way and I can't abandon him. I feel like if I'm not there for him anymore, no one will be. His friends are the ones selling him the drugs.
What can I say to him that might get him on the right track? I don't want to pressure him. I don't know what to do to encourage him properly since he's not asking for it.
Do I just leave him and let him find his own way?
Any advice would be appreciated. I've tried looking up support groups and stuff on the internet, without much success.
Thank you,
Cherry