Well the first thing you need to do is to educate yourself on the virus. As far as touching people, shaking hands, hugs etc. Of course you can, unless you get herpes on your fingers or something. Herpes can be transmitted from direct skin to skin contact with a sore, and when an infected person is shedding with no symptoms. Herpes can be spread from the mouth to genitals, vise verse, and to the eyes and fingers so it is important to not touch the open sores, and to wash your hands very well.
No you are not irresponsible if you have intimate contact outside of the outbreak IF you communicate to the other person that there is a CHANCE that the virus could be passed. If you only have genital herpes, then you could give oral sex with no problem. The outbreaks reoccur in the same general area. It will not magically appear on the mouth unless its spread there.
Yes, getting daily valtrex will supress your outbreaks and prevent MOST of the spread to another person, but NOT 100%, therefore you will have to tell the person you are with that you are infected with this and there is a small chance of passing it.
You can have a regular life, just have to be a bit more careful. My boyfriend and I have a normal sex life, I have genital herpes, and when there is no outbreak things are fine for us. However, we are in a committed relationship and determined that he was already exposed before I had my 1st episode so the transmission factor is not one for us. IF you are going to be with many people then it will be a bit harder because you will have to make them aware, or yes that would be irresponsible and would just continue the unknown passing of this disease.
If you educate yourself on the net, then you will have a better handle on the transmission and behavior of this disease, and how to manage outbreaks.