I too need antidepressants, but I hate some of the side effects so I don't usually take them. However, when I am off meds, I find myself medicating with food instead. If you have suddenly gained 12 pounds and are feeling powerless over Sugar and stimulants like caffeine, this could be your problem as well. The best advice I have for you is for you to take the medicine. If you are feeling numb, take a half dose. Talk to your doctor about what is going on, and if you don't want to be on meds forever, explain that too. And if you have a crappy doctor who tells you Depression can be cured by just getting exercise and making friends, FIRE HIM AND FIND A NEW DOCTOR!!! I have heard this song and dance from a couple physicians, who just rolled their eyes at me and acted like I was going through some silly hormonal problem. If you have a chemical imbalance, no matter how much willpower you have, your body will force you to do something, ANYTHING that will make you feel better. Whether this is drinking coffee, eating junk food, or cutting yourself, you will feel driven to do it and it is very hard to face this on your own. Fasting is hard enough when you're feeling normal. When you feel like nothing is good in your life, taking away the chemicals that actually DO help can be almost impossible. People may tell you fasting is easy and you should be able to give things up, and that it's just a matter of 'toxins' if you have a harder time. But if you are depressed enough to need meds, then fasting will be way harder for you and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. I know you want to lose weight quickly. but really, if you keep trying to fast and then bingeing on chocolate, you will never lose that weight.. and by the time you realize it, you could have lost the weight on a normal diet. Does this make sense? Don't waste your time trying to force yourself into a groove that doesn't work for you. Go buy yourself some clothes that actually fit, put some makeup on, and decide you look alright-- maybe you aren't as pretty as you would like to be, but whose business is that anyway? You can always lose weight. You don't have to panic, and you don't have to hate yourself. 12 pounds is nothing. If you can afford it, or if insurance covers it, find a good counselor that deals with depression. Many times they cost under $100 for a session, and sometimes all it takes is one session to get you the advice and help you need.