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My mom is messed up
rockah Views: 1,073
Published: 17 years ago

My mom is messed up

Some background:

About 2 years ago my mom was warded in an asylum due to strange behaviour (I don't want to say much else), and there she was clinically diagnosed with depression. Before, she had been very stressed out with work and financial problems, although I think most of the stress is self-caused, by over-worrying 24/7. She had suicidal tendencies. At that time I told her that worrying was not going to solve anything, but somehow she couldn't agree with such a simple fact. She kept asking me "How can I not worry when I have so many problems?" and so she worried and worried everyday until she became crazy one day.

She took the drugs when she was in there for the whole 2 weeks, but once she was out I got her off all of them. Luckily there was zero withdrawal symptoms. In fact her condition improved so much, she stopped worrying and everything, and she told me that she had only just realized there were so many people in the world that were worse off than her. She promised me not to think about suicide ever again.


Now, 2 years down the road, I think she has forgotten all that she had told me. Once again she is being woed down by financial problems. And I know why all these are happening: The Universal Laws of Attraction.

Over the past 2 years she got progressively worse mentally and right now she gets angry and cries over the smallest issues. And she feels helpless. Every night when she comes home from work I can't help but feel that she is taking her frustrations out on me. For the past 2-3 weeks I have been taking all her harsh words and naggings after she comes home from work. One day she came home with food prepared for her and what did she say? "What kind of food is this? This is like sh!t". And then after that she settles down to watch TV. She watches TV almost every night when she comes home, and I know that must definitely be contributing to her negative emotions.


So today, I did something I've been wanting to do for a long time. It is Sunday and she was home watching TV as usual. When she walked away to the kitchen I went over to switch the TV off. She was angry when she came back. I told her that right now wasn't the time that she should be watching TV. I explained that TV is going to make her even more angry, sad and depressed. So she started crying.

After about 5 mins she stopped crying, and we had a long talk. I wished that it could've been a heart-to-heart talk but no, she couldn't take in anything that I said. She has a very fragile ego, never has the courage to admit one's mistakes, and always pusing the blame. Once my 4-year-old niece called her fat, of course my niece didn't mean it, but I could see she was quite upset.

She was very unhappy with the puppy making a mess in the house, and then she cried again saying that she wasn't appreciated and concerned for. And she kept repeating and repeating this throughout the conversation for a long time. I know that she loves to indulge in self-pity, and I don't really know what to do about that.

I know that she is in a lot of problems and difficulties, but I also know that unconsciously she probably does not want these problems to go away, so she could continue indulging in self-pity, and also so that she does not leave her comfort zone. I explained to her everything that happens in life originates from the Self, but no I don't think she understood anything I said, which I suspect is partly due to brain fog caused by the heavy metals in her body.

I've told her time and time again to get the metals out of her mouth and she understands why, although she is unaware of the severity of the problem (again I suspect due to brain fog). In fact she has gotten less intelligent over the years that she can't even do intermediate math now. She keeps telling me yes, she will get it done, but so far has never made any effort at it. This further leads me to believe that unconsciously she prefers to suffer in her own misery.

She also eats a bad diet, and leads a horrible lifestyle, TV, sleeps late, wakes up at almost noontime, putting chemical all over her body like make-up, deodorant (she's showing signs of Alzheimer's) etc. So after the talk she walks away not taking in anything that I've said.

Right now I suspect that these are the main biggest underlying problems:
Negative attitude at life
Heavy metals

I've been trying to change her diet with little improvement, or temporary improvement at best.

I want to help but I don't know how. In the end I guess it all comes down to me. If I help myself it will in-turn help everyone around me including my mom. If I accept the way things are there will be no more problems. If I understood the fact the all things happen for a reason and they all lead to my spiritual growth. I guess I just need to vent, but I would really appreciate some ideas.

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