I want to give you a little hope because your condition is unlikely to change in the future. Therefore, it is worth paying attention to the direction of training in which you plan to enter college. And whatever the direction, you should choose the best college so that you have fewer nervous thoughts. For example, I chose colleges for food science in Kansas. I really liked his recommendation, which I read in the article on the site https://www.360wichita.com/blog/Education/Top-5-Colleges-for-Food-Science-in-Kansas.html Indeed, in such articles or comments from people, you can find not only support, but also some useful advice.