Your 20 personal attacks actually were real attacks Rainy and your attempt to laugh it off as being too minor to even qualify is just more manipulation and lacking accountability on your part as a supposed sincere child of the Heavenly Father. Maybe you're just so used to treating people with that level of hostility that you don't even notice how bad your behavior is?
If not the 20 personal examples you provided in a single post of which you were apparently so unaware that you needed me to spell it all out for you, what would you consider to be a real personal attack? Would your behavior have to involve bludgeoning someone with a club or another blunt object before you would realize that it was bad enough to qualify? Or would you and Tansy even then be saying that Rainy only bludgeoned someone with a club because Rainy was trying to help the person and she really cares?
I'm sure you really care about the souls of everybody you verbally abuse and apparently you use this "caring" as justification to treat people as badly as you like while calling it love.
Whether you felt hate in your heart against me or not - and the Heavenly Father knows the truth and is not fooled - hatefulness is what came across in your posts since i dare to seek God for myself apart from trusting in Catholic Dogma and institutionalized religious Dogma in general which includes not believing every double standard, absurdity and atrocity ascribed against my Heavenly Father's infinitely good character within that system's bible to be the 100% God breathed words that system falsely propagates it to be as one aspect of the idolatry it is in. You would either be deeply dishonest or deep in denial if you pretended that my complete freedom and independence from your religious system and its institutionalized popular opinions did not stir you to anger and hostility against me.
You said, "If I felt hatred for Ed or anybody else on this forum I would not even have bothered. ".
But this is not true. Hate and specifically religious hate inspires someone like you to react exactly as you did. If you had felt indifference then you would not have bothered, but what you expressed was hatred, hate speech, hostility, anger, etc. What does your 100% God Breathed bible say about love in 1 Corinthians 13? Do you really believe this is what you were acting out in, patience, kindness, etc? Or maybe are you choosing to ignore these bible verses along with so many others and to seek only after the verses in that book that support your hostility-filled behavior?
The first step towards healing and aligning with God's heart Rainy is to come out of denial and to be honest with yourself.