I haven't been to a western medical doc since I was maybe 21, I'm 41 now. I've gone to acupuncturists and LMT's for relief and read a lot on the internet, and just recently ordered a hair mineral test kit. That's pretty much the extent to my medical care since 21. Based on what I've researched over the years I seem to fall somewhere under the auto-immune, thyroid deficient, categories I'd say but what do you think?
From birth I've been scared, depressed and anxious, and generally socially different, most probably due to my crazy mother who raised me til I was ten. I wasn't into sports because of my social awkwardness but at times I'd notice I couldn't physically exert myself for too long before tiring out before other kids. I'd dabbled with martial arts for self confidence growing up which didn't really do much physically or mentally for me, as they were just not that effective and I didn't stick with ultimately. I got into body building from around age 10 to 16 and that was easy and esthetically rewarding combined with complimentary genes I guess. By looking at me then up til now you'd never guess, and no one ever has which makes it all the more frustrating, that I've been ill, or I like to say in a rough part of a transition. At 16 though I started wrestling, or attempted to, in school and discovered how weak I was physically and quit body building altogether. I concluded it was simply my "endurance" that I needed to work on and along with that the associated full body stinging skin issues were something else I just needed a special cream for. Well needless to say that was a naive diagnosis I arrived to with the aid of a few regular doctors and never found any relief from pursuing treatment from that reasoning. Since then I've continued martial arts as best I could having to quit early in my twenties once and then again in my early thirties due to not just the fatigue and skin issues but the effects of overall malfunctioning mind/body resulting in excessively lingering soreness and injuries. I have restarted martial arts just recently as it is like my litmus test for my general health and ability to defend myself, even though no one has or is currently physically threatening me, although I just feel generally scared and vulnerable. And yes these feelings have been exacerbated by being victimized pretty severely by psychopaths who I strangely seem to attract. I'm definitely a psychopath magnet I've learned later in life.
Anyway, my fatigue and generally hypofunctioning physiology persists til this day and the symptoms just seem to get worse with age. The older I've gotten the more I've focused on the mental factors and have tried to improve my courage but have failed miserably in all situations in life each time worsening my physical symptoms.
Long story short, the last 5 years have been the absolute worst, seems like God has been sending me worse and worse things/demons/challenges as if to say 'wake up' and how so I don't even want to get into. Life is getting scary. I feel lucky to be alive. So recently, in an attempt to 'save my life's it feels I restarted martial arts but with the promise to not quit this time and its the same situation. After grappling a short amount of time others in the class look like they're about to call 911 and I have to explain it's normal for me and I develop this identity of the sick guy. It's been almost a month and I'm feeling a bit better as one should but still I'm literally sick from it. Difference now is that I don't understand it as sick from the activity but just sick in general and this vigorous activity just exacerbates my preexisting symptoms. I'm sure most wouldn't recommend such strenuous activity but I could jog or lift weights almost daily and feel okay but nothing like martial arts tests my mind and body against perceived threat of violence from another human being which apparently is a core fear of mine so although nothing like this makes me feel so ill for the 24-48 after a session, nothing else gives me any sense of being so alive, or almost dead and I'd rather feel this then feel like a sitting duck in this society we live in when I'm not being tested.
What have I left out? I've got all the symptoms you can read about from all the 'auto-immune' /fibro/cfs/RA/lime disease/heavy metal toxicity etc, minus a few of them.. I don't really understand them all and have often wondered there is just too much emphasis on separating different states of bad health all under one spectrum into different boxes, hence I've never married a single approach or doctor. But now as I'm getting more serious about this I'm trying to hone in on a particular direction /approach that might put me on a fast(er) track to better health. I'm currently doing a "yang" diet I read about from Dr. Lawrence Wilson and have ordered a hair mineral test kit, I'm sure many of you are familiar with and I've got a shopping cart full of gnc supplements plus more off the internet, I'm praying to different gods and over sigils and meditating this way and that way, cooking/preparing all my food cutting out Sugar and bad thoughts(barely) and habits and people(I'm down to zero friends and a couple family members barely connected by a string), drinking tea and instead of drinking coffee, as soon as this bag arrives I'll be putting it in the opposite end lol and I'm about to order a portable fir(or nir??) sauna. And I'm sure that's only half of it. If this isn't the shotgun approach idk what is. But I'm desperate. Good news is, whether it's placebo mostly or not I'm feeling a bit better, but the other day I got dizzy mowing my lawn.