I went back and read more of your post and you are in deep trouble with this man.
You mentioned that you were diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, etc., and that you're now agoraphobic. Do you have any ideas of where the PTSD is rooted? NO NEED TO ANSWER on this forum - just sit and contemplate this in your own time.
What has happened is that the situation that you married into sounds as if it is a toxic and triggering environment, and this man is playing you against yourself. He is aware of your issues and vulnerabilities because you trusted him and told him. Now, he's using those vulnerabilities against you while he plays his toxic, diseased games with his family members. He is not going to change, dear. He isn't.
Since I've experienced 30 years of marital dysfunction, I can tell you that abuse is abuse whether it's physical, emotional, verbal, financial, sexual, or spiritual. It never gets better, and "victims" will jump from the fire right into the frying pan if they do not extricate themselves from the situation and get involved in some long-term counseling therapy to recover. I am walking, talking proof of this.
So.........please. Sit with this for a while and contemplate your own self-worth. You don't deserve this, even if you chose it. You can't "undo" it, but you sure can take proactive steps to help yourself and learn from this dreadful experience.