You do need help. You are asking for help on an international, public forum where there are predators, trolls, and nefarious types just waiting to sell you their "cures" for whatever ails you. Being as vulnerable as you are, you want someone to fix all of this and make it go away, and this is not going to happen. Ever. What can happen is that you will be able to put these experiences in the past where they belong, process the feelings that are associated with them, learn to manage your trust and PTSD issues, and live a contented life.
Seek the help of a licensed professional therapist that specializes in trauma, child abuse/neglect, molestation, and victim survival. There is no magic bullet, no magic want, no magic protocol, no magic mantra, or healing crystal that will disappear these terrible experiences. You are the source of your own healing. Choosing an experienced professional to guide you through the recovery and into the light of healing is something that only you are able to do.