Hey, I am in a similar (carbon copy) situation as described by Domino.
The only difference is that my Husband of 16 years has failed to see through his family's antics. He has actually tried to take me for counselling for our 'martial problems'. Unfortunately, it took me 16 years to realize what I am dealing with. I now know that clinical psychology has a name for this family dynamics.
However, I am still not sure which way would my husband switch. A loose reference by me to him being manipulated by his family send him into a furious rage.
Seems I am riding a blind mad horse and also have my 11 year old to daughter in the picture. Any hope for having a meaningful relationship with him after investing 16 prime years of my life is brought to nothingness.
Seeking to know if I may alight from this mad horse before it sends me and daughter catapulting up into the air and down.
FYI am based in India where lot these 'deranged' families operate under the grab of traditions and family values.