It is heart-rending to hear someone your age (my son's age) talking about feeling suicidal. Please know that you will look back on this time and it will be as if it was a dream. And you woke up. I once thought seriously of suicide when I was fifteen.
Thank God some voice saved me. However, getting to a place of "what's left to do?" did allow you to make the kind of leap in consciousness that many people might never get to. That's a really good sign.
And it can only get better. . . Have you seen any of "Dan the life regenerator" videos? He is a youngish guy who's into raw and living food, and has done some water fasting, as well. It's nice when there are people who know it is not the craziness it sounds like. Even my mother, when I mentioned a water fast, six, almost seven years ago, responded with, "I'm off to have some shrimp!" It can be a real threat to people. Even I didn't believe it could be done, years ago . . .
One thing caught my attention: did you really mean your "palm", the inside of your hand(s), wrinkles on the inside of your hand?
Or did you mean, the back of the hand?
I wouldn't use anything packaged like a hand mask. It would have preservatives , and whatnot. I'd just get a little bottle of the plain oil, cold-pressed, etc. nothing added. From the health food store. If you get small bottles, you can a get a few kinds, and mix them. jojoba, argon, avocado, apricot kernal. . .
You should know, it is the liver that is key to digesting oils and fats, and if the liver is congested, it might be key to the wrinkling, the skin dryness. The book "The Amazing Liver and Gallbladder flush" is inspiring. ( Just wade slowly in, by reading, or watching some videos) It was to me.
Try the plain fresh avocado slathered on the hands and face, and just sit with it until it gets dark and dry, and then rinse off, with plain water. You'll be amazed to see how it's absorbed. The whole buying of pre-prepared things is something we've been programmed into. We are super-consumers, who have forgotten life can be so much easier, and better, when you do things yourself.
When you start to really wake up to that, (it took me quite a long time!) and to how much control you have, and potential, you'll feel a lot of freedom, and joy. I don't know if I mentioned the castor oil too. For external application. Called "The Palm of Christ", for good reason. Always get cold-pressed, hexane-free, best quality. "fair trade", if and when that's applicable.
Don't just trust labels, or clerks who repeat what they think someone said. :-) Or the drug store brands. This is not to damn anyone. People just do the best they can do, at the time.
edit--forgot about the colonics. Yes, that's a bit much for me. But I do very well with the salt water flush. I use 2 tsp. himalayan or "realsalt" in a quart of boiled hot water. Cooled enough to drink quite quickly, as if it was a good broth. blood does not pick up the salt, so it is just sent straight through. Providing you are hydrated enough, (have drunk water on rising)
and do the SWF (Salt-Water-Flush) a half hour or so later, it should start to leave the body in an hour. At which point you sip more hot water. Which speeds the rest of it out. Along with any stones. Like the liver flush, It's also pretty amazing.