Hi there lunameth,
I get the position you're in because I was there a year ago and I know how shit it feels feeling like this is a situation that no one else has to deal with but you, but there are some of us out here that went through exactly the same things that you're going though now so keep your head up and know that one day you're going to look back on this and its going to feel like a bad dream and you're going to be a stronger person because of it.
From my experience when i was going through that particular stage first thing I had to do was get rid of the infection, its going to be very hard for your lips to get better if they are constantly infected so you have to go to the doctors for that, second of all I stopped trying to keep the scabs on so if they wanted to come off without me physically peeling them then I would let them, the scabs on my lips did not stop forming until the skin underneath had healed so for me the scabs were not part of the healing process at all, so I showered, ate, brushed my teeth normally without aggravating my lips, hygiene is key to healing so If you can't brush your teeth get a mouthwash and use regularly, and last thing i did was always keep my lips moisturised, that will help speed up the healing