Before today, from the reading I've done, what I've mainly read about in tea is Aluminum and Fluoride. Which are a bad combination.
But after reading your post, I looked more in to the different types of fluoride people are talking about. It seems like people are talking about calcium fluoride versus sodium fluoride (toothpaste), and saying that calcium fluoride is what is in tea. I haven't seen any of that in serious literature though. No studies with methods explained have stated which type of fluoride is in tea. There is aluminum and calcium in tea, and it's likely fluoride is combining with both of them.
From what I've been reading today, in following up on this, I'm more worried, not less, about what is in tea. Based on the study from the above link, there are a lot of other heavy metals in tea (organic is not exempt from this). The data is all in the above link.
The tea plant is unique in that it leeches metals from the soil. In some ways, the tea plant could be viewed as the cleaner of soil, because it's taking up lots of bad stuff! Soil with high calcium content and low aluminum content keeps the tea plant from absorbing as much fluoride. It turns out it has little to do with fertilizers and pesticides. Fluoride in tea simply depends on the mineral content of the soil where it's grown.
Regardless of what types of fluorides are in tea, I question the assumption that one type is better than another. As with sodium fluoride, calcium fluoride would get broken down by the body and the fluoride would still end up somewhere that it shouldn't be. In tea, the worst culprit is aluminum fluoride, since tea is high in both aluminum and fluoride. Aluminum fluoride is readily absorbed by the body. Calcium is supposed to help detox the body. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19318504 Which would imply that if you drank a lot of calcium fluoride, it might be okay, and would pass through the body. But if your body happened to need that calcium you were drinking with fluoride, you might keep both of them.
I don't have all the answers obviously. I also wouldn't trust anyone who said they did have all the answers. There is a lot of information on the web that is contradictory, and there are hidden biases and motivations behind that information. There is a huge tea industry, after all. And it's in their interests to protect the reputation of their product. What would be awesome is if someone worked on techniques to minimize fluoride in tea plants. I'm sure it can be done, but only after it's recognized as a problem.
I really like tea. Unfortunately, my own experience has taught me that tea is bad for me. So I'm just avoiding it completely. Chai was my drink, so now I make tea-free chai. Basically just spiced milk. I miss my tea.