i was having the same panic attack last night. today is my last day on the fast (i couldn't have made it through w/out everyone's help. thank you all) and i was scared because i didn't know how i was gonna cope with all the choices of food. and in the middle of my freak out i realized that everything i put in my mouth was my decision. if i can go without eating at all for 10 days, then i can handle the daily ins and outs of smelling "good" food and not eating it. every piece of food i put in my mouth is my decision. did i almost crumble, yeah, a couple of times. day five those chocolate martinis almost brought me down and day eight all i wanted to do was eat SOMETHING. i just wanted to chew on something, anything so badly that i wondered if i would make it the rest of the day. but i did. i never thought i could give up food for 10 days, but i did. if i can do that, why can't i eat healthy for the rest of my life? and i realize that it's easy for me to say this now and the real challenge will be come sunday when i actually have to take a bite of something. Will i be able to stop? i've been practicing, repeating to myself every time i smell pizza or donuts or something like that "everything i put in my mouth is my decision." I even had an argument in my head with the voice that kept telling me i had to eat indian food this week end and i actually ending up saying aloud "why, why, there are indian restaurants all over the city, why THIS weekend?!"
now, i think if you have a craving for something for a very long time, you should eat it. some cravings are actually your body needing something from the food you're craving. i'm not giving up indian food. and sometimes it's good to have a little pizza (i'm sure others on the list would disagree.) the main thing is is that it's YOUR choice. we often forget that. i actually threw something away today. i couldn't believe it. then i pulled a miranda with the dish washing liquid. (those who watch sex and the city know of what i speak.)
i hope i wasn't too preachy.