I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. I was in a marriage that lasted 22 years that bore 4 children.
I am thriving and no longer a victim. I will not take anybody's abuse in anyway anymore. I'm fully self confident and after 4 years I'm in a new and thriving marriage to a wonderful and bright lady.
However my children have been turned against me and each other. One daughter is also a narcissist, worse than her mother. I have come to accept that I cannot help them as they do not want help, though they are all messed up.
To recover there are several steps. If you fail in one, your pain will continue, perhaps for decades or even make you ill.
First, do not contract the narc, not for any reason, realize you will never win, as they will lie, threaten, gaslight to stop you from getting freedom.
Second, and this is important, I see many fail at this point. Stop being a victim. On these narc abuse forums, one thing is clear, they are not recovery forums, they are commiserating forums. (my narc did this or did that stuff).
Third, learn an energy healing technique such as EFT, TAT or the very best, Inner Influencing developed by Paul Gleblic. (I have lost my faith in conventional psychotherapy.)(after several years of wasting a ton of money)
Then treat the anger, helplessness, lack of control and all your beliefs that you need to help others to have value.
Then treat the big question of not understanding why he or she behaves as a demon incarnate.
As long as you continue to commiserate and play the victim game (sorry, I know the narc did terrible things, I have been to the point of suicide myself.) but you will NEVER recover as long as you are a victim.
Remember as long as thoughts come up about your abuser or what may have happened, you are not completely healed.