We’ve been together for almost a year now; it’s a long distance relationship – literally! im a flight attendant and I live on the other side of the world while giving my heart and soul to be with him every second I can trying the hardest to get on each flight to see him (which is 12 hrs long each way) even if it’s just for a day
4 months ago we went on a vacation together and we had an amazing time that we had decided on that trip that this is it, we should get married, we’re so happy to have found each other.
I am in my late 20s and he is a bit older divorced for the 2nd time with children. He had been badly burnt from his last ex, as she splurged on his credit card shopping all day long and trying to take over his company in the divorce (they do not have any children and she had signed a prenup prior to their marriage)
Im coming from a very simple life and I do not own any assets and everything regarding the business world im totally clueless about, so obviously I am not after his money and assets. And he knows that. He sees how family oriented I am, and how much I want to build a home.
In the past 2 months I have sold all of my things (furniture appliances etc), I had told the home owners for the house I’m leasing that ill be moving out early, I told everyone at my job that I will be quitting in order to move in with him in the states – knowing about having to sign a prenup since he talked about it before
I was asking questions about this prenup since I’ve never seen one, and he said that since he formed a company he needs to be the only owner if investors would be buying a percentage of the company in the future and that’s why he needs a prenup, although obviously while I’ll be signing one it’s not just the company that he is protecting – but everything else he owns, which is fine I want to build a life with him not take him down.
BUT what has been kind of hurtful is the fact that he is changing up the prenup a bit from his last ex, to even more protect himself – saying that he made a mistake with the last prenup that had led her in the divorce to have a house car and money – and the investors were shaken up by that (which sounded a bit weird to me, that the reason he is changing the prenup is because of investors again) but I can’t say a thing because I really don’t understand this world.
In my last visit a few days ago, I told him that I will be quitting this month and moving to the states to be with him in November already, and then he had stopped and said that he wants me to sign the prenup before me quitting – saying that my next visit would be us going to the lawyers and signing this prenup and then I can go back and quit. This really made me wonder why! I asked him and he said that under law if someone signs a prenup without having a job it can be seen as if I was forcedly signing it (again I had no argument about it because I do not know the rules as him) but inside it made me feel as if he’s scared that I won’t like the prenup and what’s written there and he would be in a situation where I’m there with no job no home and no signed prenup and then hes just kind of stuck with me. But that’s just what I think…
Anyway, I had to agree and kind of let it go
Yesterday though, we skyped and he had said that his lawyer proposed him getting a cohabitation agreement!!!
I mean…. That is just wrong! I asked him what will be on it he said he doesn’t know, he never had one. And im thinking - why me???? He never had one signed, so why do I have to sign it?!
Im leaving everything behind for this man, coming to a country where I have nothing, and I feel like all he does is cover himself and making me sign all of these things, having to sign a prenup is scary enough but now a cohabitation agreement and a prenup? It feels like it’s too much! And what’s even scarier to me is the fact that since I’m not an American resident and citizen we will have to marry eventually so that I won’t have to go back to my country, so why sign a cohabitation agreement if we know that we are getting married and we have a prenup already?
I really feel like I need advice here
I feel like we already kind of live together, since all of my clothes are in his house already! I had moved everything I wanted to have there already, and he calls it our house already for months, so now it’s not? I have to sign a cohabitation agreement as well all of the sudden?
Also i had asked him when does he things we'll get married and he said that we first need to be engaged and he needs to find a good time to propse - seems again as if hes trying to take his time or having second thoughts.
Feeling very lost….
I’m afraid he is having second thoughts and not telling me…
What should I do? :(