I've been to both the domestic violence center where we used to live and here also. I had counselling back then and went to a support group until I found out he was talking to my counsellor, and started showing up at my support group. I'm in therapy now. Its a free service through DV center, as our custody schedule prevents me from working full time now and I have no insurance. Its hard to get past the part when it keeps being re-tried over and over and he keeps financially and emotionally draining us. Its been constant restim. The present is painful as he won the last two times in court and I lost my custody rights temporarily, then only got back half custody. And my children being seperared, and all the upheaval it causes ends them up in therapy all over again. I don't live in the part, I'm stuck in a cycle I don't choose, work to get out of and never can, because he is relentless. My youngest, our child together, is only 8. Its another 10 years of this before he can't use him against me. He still comes home and states things like 'mommy is unsafe' or 'do you abuse me?'. I live very much in the present. And its worn me down. There isn't much left over time with two children , working any and all odd jobs i can around the custody schedule, and honestly, all the DV groups here in pa are cut to bare bones. They have been for the last three years.
I appreciate the advice and I will look at the website you suggested, but I'vebeen in ttherapy and very aware of the issues for a long time.
There is only so much one human being can take. I'm overwhelmed in this present. Not the past. I was just trying to give background. And speaking up at a time when he has more resources, has gone to greater lengths and taken us farther down than ever before.
I have little hope that he will ever stop. And I already know that if he loses at this point in court he will come after me. And yes, I've stated he's said as much to police, judges, etc. They just tell me I'm hysterical, being paranoid or just blow it off.