Re: Are there different kinds of depression?
well, first of all, LOTS of people HATE waking up every day including me. I would rather sleep even on days when I am feelign good, and on day that I am feeling bad, I would rather sleep too!
It souds to me that one of your problems is nutritional. You are putting your body through a lot.
Do you know anything about how the body metabolizes and builds up our neurochemistry? the main chemical in the brain that a lot of anti-depressants help (which I am NOT suggesting) is serotonin. This is made by the body from the food we eat. teh body breaks down protein into amino acids which then make serotonin. But you need to eat right or the crucial aminos are not made or do not exist in large enough amounts to be sufficently created for the brain.
I can tell you from experience that when I am nutritionally depleted, I am more insecure, I feel 'uglier' and I am more anti-social than normal.. heh.
So please focus on this stuff as a start. there is a great book available for free which changed my life. it's called 'the way up from down' and is available for free at : thewayup.com.
learn about the crucial aminos which can be taken as supplements as usually even the BEST diets are deficient in these crucial elements to our happiness.
there is another great book that I recommend whcih is a quick read. It's called: "there is nothing wrong with you" by cheri huber. this book helped me a lot when I was feeling very similar to you.
my opinion after being on and off depressed for years and tried various medications for extended periods of time is that
Depression is CHEMICAL.
Also, check out the
Liver Flush from this very site.. Dr. Clark's recipe. It will change your life and immediately lead to weight loss.
as you address these things, thoughts of never wanting to go out and even suicide will become less frequent and evetually diminish completely. I know from experience. My thoughts of suicide were so serious at one point that I wasn't disscusiing it with *anyone*. I was PLANNING it!
It's ALL chemical. Therepy can help immensely in regards to developing more positive thought patterns and behavior, revisiting past wounds and finding closure and such things, but it doesn't help at all reagrding depression.. at least for me and *everyone I know* who has walked this path.
Do you really believe that our hunter-gatherer ancestors who were eating GREAT (whole foods, healthy meat with no chemicals and hormones) out in the sunlight all day, drinking tons of water and standing, walking, running all day long (chairs are EVIL) were ever considering suicide? Of course not! If they were, evolution woudl have ceased to exist and we wouldn't be here within the beautiful internet having this discussion..
Take better care of your body and mind and you will be fine.
Love and Light to You,
brian