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Re: Depressed, lost
 
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Published: 20 y
 
This is a reply to # 21,841

Re: Depressed, lost


I can relate to exactly what you are saying as it is exaclty where I was a few years ago, but on top of the negative health and feeling no motivation to do anything besides sit on the couch and watch tv, I was also completely drugged out on hardcore opiates and one of my best friends killed himself.

It was really rough and I am fortunate to not be dead right now, and after my own experience of change and healing from Depression and inactivity, I can assure you that IT WILL GET BETTER! Also, it truly doesn;t happen over night. I wish it had but the reality is that it's one day at a time and one teeny tiny step forward at a time.

For me, it was as if I was a zombie and truly could feel almost nothing. At this point, one of my best friends was demanding that I get out every day and run. I felt no desire to do it at all, but he knew where I was, all of my demons, and that I could die unless I cleaned up, so he essentially threatened to end our friendship unless I obeyed his orders. I followed them although admit that I felt like a zombie blinldy following orders. So I started simply walking because to run made me feel like I was going to have a heart attack. heh. I started by simply making myself at least go out for a walk *every single night*. Then I slowly started walking fast/jogging lightly on top of it. I would at first only jog for a few seconds.. then a few minutes, then to the end of the block, then more. As I kept up this seemingly half ass slacker routine of being a 'runner', it eventually sort of accidentally became a habit.

This is how all change works. It's a tiny morsal at a time. Don't get down on yourself for not being able to transform over night. I don't think that happens to anyone short of some miracle or near death experience..

As far as the health stuff, I urge you to keep going with it and do the positive stuff for long enough to *feel* the effects. Thinking that it is the right thing to do because we have read it, heard it, been preached it, and all of that crap is not enough of a motivation to initiate real change. You have to FEEL it for real. Once you go for long enough stretches with the healthy stuff, you will feel it and simply choose that going back to the bad stuff is not a road you want to follow. It won't be profound or all that difficult. It will be as easy as your decision to brew a pot of coffee every day.

As far as the diet, I urge you to supplement your day to day efforts by reading a bit about 'alkalinity'. Coffee has a pH of 2.5. It's truly like drinking battery acid and is horrible for the body. So is all the Sugar and other crap you are eating. And exercisig breathing and embracing physical motion is an oxygenating/alkalinizing (same thing) process which does wonders for the body including breaking down acidic waste. But the best is that it FEELS GREAT when you do it enought to actually feel it for real.

There are many modern theories coming out based on solid Science suggesting that LOTS of disorders are a result of acidic waste/buildup and lifestyles,not to mention the direct link between Sugar and cancer.. research the new studies between Sugar metabolism and insulin system within the body and tumor growth and such things.

BADNESS! Leave it! It's just a silly addiction which isn't even doing anything for you anymore. You have simply had it for so long that you are hooked.

The comedown that you are feeling after coffee is called withdrawal. It happens after all caffiene and sugar consumption. It's gnarly and I'm certainly not going to pretend that my life is free of it, but I can say that I feel like crap and regretful every time it happens. The manic roller coaster ride of emotions and energy levels seems to be soley the cause of your caffiene and sugar consumption based on your description.

I think the best thing for you to do at this point is the following. Pleae read through all of them befor eyou decide that it is too much work. It's not really much at all.. I'm simply a 'wordy' writer. ;) here:

1) the liver cleanse. research it through this site. the dr. calrk method is best. it's 1/2 day fast and you will pass 1000-1500 liver/gallbladder stones form your body which is not only an amazing 9and profound) experience, but does wonders for energy levels, mood, post meal tiredness and all sorts of other matters of health. PS- ignore the zapper part. they are great but not essential.

2) consider a master cleanse fast after this but if it is too much for you to take on that is okay. I suggest this because it ELIMINATES addicitons like sugar and caffeine. totally profound plus you shed off pounds.

3) switch from coffee to green tea immediately. Also try yerba mate which has a lot of kick to it like coffee but also has anti-oxidants and other goodies which is better for the body.

4) slowly cut down your sugar consumption. treat it as a reward after something positive in your life, like a walk or journal entry or something, as ridiculous as this sounds. cut down while reading 'the acid alkaline balence diet' a GREAT book. cut down and then leave it. you won't miss it if you do it gradually.

5) give away your tv. that's what I did. I don't miss it. for the occassionaly history channel or nature show that was adding to my mind, there were 1000 hours of smack.. mindless hypnotizing garbage which is nothign but a distraction from yourself, your own mind and reality and life. Have you ever seen the movie 'office space'? I think you shoudl watch that movie on your tv and then grab a baseball bat from the closet.. Wear safety goggles though.

6) number 5 is nearly impossible. consider drastically cutting down your tv drug use and/or limiting it to certain times of the day or certain types of content.

7) go outside and walk at least once a day. BREATH! Many of us never learn to breath deeply. research yogic breathing techniques. I personally never breathed deeply because of severe childhood asthma and learning such things caused a PROFOUND change.

8) keep being hard on yourself and/or harder. whatever you are doing seems to be causing more of a sense of feeling sorry for yourself than action. try to modify your self criticism to lead to more positives and action. I'm serious! some would advise you not to be so hard on yourself. I say be harder! your thoughts and mind are the only thing that is going to get you out of this rut. to me, the more the better especially as I essentially visualize you as drinking a few pitchers of battery acid each day which is very very very bad.

9) meditate. always gotta find a way to throw that in. paritally a projection as I don't do it enough.

Get to work! it's not that hard. take one little baby step at a time and stop and think about every positive effect you feel. They will only get better and more frequent.

Hang in there.

Love and Light,

Brian

ps- oh yeah.. drink a lot of water. heh. try to find some Alkaline Water which breaks down acidic buildup in your body. "trinity" is GREAT! It has a pH of 9.6 and is very healing.
 

 
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