Re: add meant mend
I'm sorry to hear this. It sounds like it has been a rough stretch for you. :( Loss is always difficult and when it is all stacked up like that it can seem impossible. I can relate as it has been a rough few years for me as well. The one thing you can perhaps find some comfort in is the fact that it has been a rough time for *many* of us. You may feel alone but I can assure you that you are not! We are all here with you.
Leaving friends especially fellow artists, which is what it sounds like, can be difficult. And the death of your father is a life altering event. I have not seen that day yet, and am not looking forward to it. :-\ I don't really have any words of wisdom regarding losing a loved one as it has always been extreme for me. underdevloped coping skills is what led to bad lifestyle changes and then to zoloft in the first place. Still trying to learn in this vein. But I certainly offer my condolances and hope that you are talking to family as well as your/his friends so you don't have to go through this alone.
So, have you sought out similar minds in your new area? I am in a new area as well and can relate to feeling like a loner.. I'm not the most social person and usually have to go to extremes to meet similar artistic freaks in a new place. or even the old places come to think of it.. hmmm.. ;)
One thing that has helped for me is simply focusing on cool artistic events. Everything from gallery openings, music performances in coffee shops or larger places, museum events, book stores/library events, stuff like yoga classes and tai chi, meditations, or even cool thrift stores or trade shows and such places can be filled with like minded souls. It may seem like a lot of work to find someone completey new and develop a relationship with them that is as strong as that of your friends back here (i'm on the west coast, LA), but you would be surprised! At least, I have been. Sometimes you meet someone and instantly feel a connection with them that is profoud.. as if you knew them in a past life or something (!). heh.
Anyway, hang in there and feel free to email me privately through the addy associated with this site if you are ever having difficulty and need to talk.
and PLEASE stick with the aminos, nutrition, CARDIO, alkalinity and such things. I can attest that when my body/mind gets to a depleted state I become depressed *which directly causes* far too many instances of negative internalizations of who I am, where my life is, and how I am sad..
when your body and mind are depressed, the conclusions you draw about yourself and your life can get pretty dark. And when your body and mind are in good health, you often don't see things as all that horrible.
not too take away from the difficulties you are experiencing which are all compeltely valid, but just be sure to keep the brain juice oversaturated with the precursor uploading, exercise, and good eating. This is CRUCIAL! And yes, I am projecting as I need to remember this too and have learned the same lesson about it so many times when I have slipped that it becomes embarrassing.. heh.
Good luck and get out and find some cool events to get your mind out of your head and back towards art or wherever your interests lie. There is tons of such events there!
:)
Thanks for sharing with us and Light to You,
And a BIG HUG!
brian