Wow, that sound horrible! I too, thought of suicide and that definitely scared the shit outta me. One night, I got so depress the feeling I had wasn't just extreme sadness, something felt so evil. I didn't know who I was scared of me or 'something else'. I wrote a poem about how I was feeling but soon deleted it after I had read it. I had no choice but to turn to god. I had made my decision that night. Although, I still struggle everyday but now I have god there with me.
If you don't mind me asking, what symptoms do you have?? What is your odor like? Does it go away after a shower? Is it everyday? Or only when you eat/do ' ' ?? Have you found god?? If you did, did you ask him to help? (notice I said ask not demand) oh, and one last thing, have patients!