hi, will have to be very brief, as I just lost a long post.
so, excuse the point form. these are my suggestions, for you to look into, and see what resonates with you.
first off, i would avoid surgery. ( as would schulze)
i would maybe even avoid the specialist, but that is me.
i would do EFT, lots of it, for the fear, worry, every thought that makes you feel out of alignment with what you sense to be the 'right way to go'.
check out: John of God. ( distance healing is no problem for him)
check out: Balanced View. this could literally dissolve the years of depression, and much else, if you are at all open to the simple idea being offered, through them. i would listen to a few of their introductory videos.
i would start taking the eyewash, and follow schulze suggestions with that.
the incurables program looks intense, but i,d go with as much as possible of it. your own ideas sound good, but what seems to be tying you in knots is the travelling in two boats, if you will. Natural healing doesn't fit in with the allopathic, specialist- based approach, imhv.
the eft should help a lot with some of the crippling fear. Best wishes, with it all!
And it sounds like it,s time to seriously address the diet. Optimally, it would be mucousless, fruits and vegetables, often raw...and low-heated whole grains and pulses, as per Dr. Christopher's ideas. How about cayenne, starting with 1/4 tsp. in water, and working up? Kelp, apple cider vinegar and honey in water? all this is for cleansing of the internal constipation or catarrh.
also, liver eyes are strongly related, so Liver Flushing is indicated, by the sounds of it. ( for me, Liver Flushing made a huge difference, esp. in the emotions, and limiting thoughts-- as well as suppressed anger and fear. once that is released, in the form of stones, there is more energy to pursue what you already know will help you.
also, check out mantak chia and lemon juice for eyes.