Re: finding this hard to believe

Don't be sorry, I know what it's like to have suicidal thoughts, that's how I grew up. I also lost a brother to drugs by an intentional overdose. He left a suicide note in his back pocket to my mother. I feel bad about the pain that made him want to kill himself and learned to live with the fact that it was only a matter of time before he died from drugs, so I learned not to cry while he was still alive and I learned not to feel. So far, I can turn off my emotions like a light switch (for the most part), but not everyone is like that. For a lot of people, the pain continues long after death because they "conditioned" themselves to be happy because of the other person and are still mad that the other person left them. Don't think that nobody cares, we don't all have the same ability/experiences to care the same. You will meet a lot of people who don't have the brains, heart, conscience/courage to care (they also have no character or personality), but that doesn't mean you're worthless, they're just trying to make you think that so they can feel more comfortable (it feels bad to be alone, misery needs company). But you are not just a target, you are a prime target. You have the "heart of gold" (the golden fleece) that these predators need for their glory. You know how to feel and get depressed. You have the heart and the feelings that these predators could substitute for their lack of a true personality. That's why there will be so many people in your life that don't care, because... they will find you. That's why I call them predators, they will search for someone who can be sensitive and feel pain in their heart. As long as they can manipulate your feelings, they consider themselves to be successful conquering/manipulating such a great obstacle (you are the "great" obstacle of glory). They need to feed off you because they are shallow and have no personality. Remember that I said that you are a "PRIME" target? That's because you are more noble, have courage of conscience and the wisdom to understand/feel sorrow. Don't underestimate yourself.




Let sorrow be your teacher. Tweet