Maybe you are just JUDGEMENTAL and have decided and declared yourself to be a "HOPELESSly out of control dishonest cheater who has serious mental problems" who can be forgiving of other people but not HERSELF. If you want to do something for Bobby, take care of his best interest and GET OFF YOUR CASE. People usually criticize themselves because they criticze other people and find that they themselves do not measure up to those same standards,... that's called Poetic Justice, payback,what goes around comes around,Judge not lest ye be judged[by yourself]. But it sounds like you are not that way, you just insist on persecuting yourself for your past deeds because your conscience is alive and well, and because it is, you must also allow yourself to forgive yourself and be rehabiltated.