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desperately need help, feeling trapped
sol10 Views: 4,025
Published: 8 years ago

desperately need help, feeling trapped

My mind is going crazy trying to figure everything out and I feel as if I don't have enough time to. Here is my problem:

I've been attempting to rid myself of candida for 2 years now. I've been off and on the paleo and candida diet, but I am now very strictly on the paleo, minus anything with sugar. This is helping my candida and leaky gut, so I'm happy with this. I've also been battling parasites and heavy metals. 2 years ago when I started this crusade I had a horrible 24/7 sinus drip and acid reflux/ibs/diarrhea etc. which has all gone away. I now have pretty good bowel movements and never have sinus problems as long as I stay strict on the diet. My brain fog is also better, and chronic fatigue is better, though still poor. But my main problem now lies in my air sensitivities.

I'm almost 25, male, and living in Louisiana in my parents house, where I have a room. I'm not staying in my room however, because there is carpet, and over the past 2 years I have noticed I get sicker when I am around carpet. My theory is its the formaldehyde, but I can't be sure. But it isn't just carpet, I can't seem to breathe well in certain places, rooms, buildings, humid climates. My room is upstairs and there is a room when you walk in upstairs that does not have carpet, so I tried sleeping there but it still bothered me. As soon as I open the door to the upstairs I can smell an odor. It isn't necessarily horrid, but i can smell it, and it makes me dizzy. I've read a lot about MCS and was wondering if this is what I have. I don't seem to have it with anything else though, such as perfume and gasoline. It's only low air quality, as if I'm not getting enough oxygen. This is what I think it is, as I've read about ozone therapy and how sick people need more oxygen for their bodies to heal. But I don't know what to do about it. I can't find any ozone therapy in my area. And I've read that it may not be that safe or effective anyway. I'm also wondering if maybe I have candida or parasites in my lungs as I can feel crawling in my chest, and when I take coconut oil I feel a pain there as if its dying off. This is how I've gone about determining where the candida is. I don't know if my body is more sensitive than others on this site because no one talks about feeling pain in certain areas, but I've always been able to feel exactly where the candida or parasites are. It seems when its bad its a crawling feeling, and when I take some kind of antifungal or my immune system is strong its a sort of sharp pain, not really that horrible though. I feel this in my ears and stomach mostly, which is where I think I have the most. So anyway, now I'm basically stuck in my parents' kitchen/living room all day, and sleeping on the couch. They told me I couldn't sleep there anymore so I tried sleeping upstairs again and couldn't. I've now been going to sleep on the couch after my dad goes to bed, which is around 1, and setting my mental alarm clock to 7:15 as my dad wakes up for work at 7:30. So now I'm not getting enough sleep, which is also effecting my health. It's sad but its the only option I have right now because my parents won't listen to me and even if they did I don't want to be forced to stay in one room until I get better. Not to mention when I start to lay down to go to sleep, even for a nap, my symptoms will get worse even if I'm on the couch. And when I wake up in the morning I feel crappy until I take some ACV because its mainly mucus in the stomach and fuzzy head and ears. I think this is due to my dust mite allergies, but I can't be sure. Finally the worst of all of this is that I can't really even go outside without starting to feel ill. It is a gradual feeling so I can go outside for a bit, but after a while I will start feeling tired etc. I believe this has to do with living in the south below sea level, where it is very humid and there is never any wind. Actually the only time I felt okay was about a month ago when the cold front came in and there was a breeze. I was freezing but I could breathe.

Now for the worst part of my story. About a year ago I was having this same problem and decided to do something about it. I should also mention I do not want to get a job because like I said I can't even go outside and my energy levels are still very low. So a year ago I took the rest of my college fund and moved with my girlfriend at the time to Santa Fe NM. I could finally breathe and most of my symptoms and problems went away. I was still trying to get rid of the candida and parasites knowing they were still there. And so I was still very weak and tired. It was very hard for us to find jobs there and so we moved to Boulder CO, and had to borrow money from my parents. I felt great in CO also. The air there is very clean. My gf got a job and I attempted to but was still scared I wasn't going to be able to handle it. I was still killing the candida and I knew I couldn't work in a closed in area unless it had good air flow. In both of our places we kept the windows open all day. Eventually my health problems were too much for my gf and we broke up. She moved back home and I convinced a friend to move with me to Los Angeles as I'm an aspiring filmmaker who hasn't really done anything because of my health. So we get an apartment there, and I am now extremely in debt to my parents, who only agreed on this because they knew it was my dream and knew I couldn't move back home. As soon as I got to LA I noticed the air was not that great. And it was really humid at night. During the day I was okay though, because there was usually a breeze. But at night it was bad. Not to mention we had a really old apartment and I felt sick unless the air conditioner was blowing directly on me. My room did not have an AC though. So I started avoiding my room and sleeping in the living room. It didn't help, and my symptoms became horrible as I tried to go to sleep. I still don't have a good explanation for this, other than the AC wasn't directly on me since I was on the floor. Might also have had to do with the dust mite allergy. I'm having trouble understanding that though because in NM and CO I was fine when I went to sleep, and we barely washed our sheets. So I was getting about 5 hours of sleep in LA and still struggling to find a job. Not to mention I wasn't getting along with my roommate and longing for my ex-gf. I was very emotional at that time, I was crying constantly throughout the day. I even started smoking again, for about a week. I have been on nicotine mints for several months now, as I was smoking when my ex-gf and I were together, which of course did not help me. I reached the point where I wanted to kill myself, which wasn't the first time. And I told my parents that I had to come home or I didn't know what was going to happen to me. I didn't want to go home, but I knew it was a better option than staying there. I still believe this, as I'm not as depressed as I was then, because at least I'm not draining away my parents money for rent and I have people around me that care about me, even if they don't understand me. But now I'm still in the same predicament, and I can't even go outside again.

I've learned a lot more about detoxing and how important it is. I went see a NP and found that I had overloaded my liver because of all the toxins from killing the candida. Not to mention smoking, and I use to drink heavily. I've begun doing liver flushes, will start my 3rd next week. I still can't tell if they are helping. I got out about 50 the first time and the second time I had a lot of chaff. I also started doing ACV enemas a few days after the flushes. I can feel an immediate relief after these. I am very confident in the whole detoxing idea and I don't think I will be stuck with these problems forever. But I know healing takes a while. And right now I feel I don't have that. I can't get sufficient sleep, I have no money, and I am secluded to one room. I really regret not getting a job in NM and CO even though I didn't have much energy. At least over there I was able to get sufficient sleep. But now I see no point, because I'm not really even sleeping. Also I've lost all my friends and my parents are the only people I talk to and we don't get along. I started seeing a therapist and she isn't helping me at all. So this is my last resort, asking everyone on here for any advice. HELP!

sorry this post is so long i'm a bit thorough

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