I would suggest getting a professional colonic first. I got LOTS and LOTS of junk out of my colon from just one. 70 bucks give or take. Don't get them too frequently though, they *MIGHT* wipe out some good bacteria. I'm not as in bad of a condition as you describe, and I had bad die-off just from the colonic, but it passed the next day and I felt better. My second colonic I didn't get much out. But just remember... how you are feeling right now is NOT who you are. How you are feeling is the PARASITES. Start killing them off and little by little you get a sense of who you really are, you WILL love life again, you are not this guy that currently sounds very overwhelmed and stressed. But the die-off will make things seem like they're getting worse. Just remember it's the toxins, NOT YOU.