Following a guru on the inside, which is what you have been doing, is just as bad as following a guru on the outside. It has led you down a false path of spirituality that dissociated you from your own body. This force, however it may present itself to you, is disconnecting you from your body. A true soul, or aspect of source, would always ALWAYS lead you to the TRUTH which is: your body is THE most important facet of spirituality and it is fundamentally who YOU are; whether you are floating around in some light realm or taking a dump on the toilet.
Some part of you (probably your body) wants to know the truth which is why your need to comment on my post led you to starting this conversation with me. Well, welcome to my reality.
It is good for you; you need to hear the truth. The body is the foundation of all genuine spirituality. All of life is connected and every part of creation is an important and vital component of the whole.
"In fact, thinking about anything is a body energy and will not benefit you for spiritual pursuits"
Simply nonsense. Thoughts and emotions are energies that need to be integrated with the physical body for genuine spiritual pursuits to be actualized. Body energy is deeply, profoundly vital to spirituality. Your statement could not be any more ridiculous. Who don't you go put 12 mercury fillings in your mouth, take a few rounds of Antibiotics , eat McDonalds 3 times a day, watch 6 hours of television, and drink water loaded with pineal-gland-shrinking fluoride and then try and preach to me about all the benefits of spiritual pursuits you are receiving! You have got to be absolutely out of your mind. In fact, this is the problem: you are out of your mind and out of your body floating around as some spark of light in the 117th dimensional realm of the Grand Order of Melchizedek.
You claim to have only followed your own truth for the past 30 years but someone, or something at some point in time gave you the erroneous idea that you are not your sexuality or your emotions, and that body energies will not benefit you for spiritual pursuits. In other words, you have been following the programming of other spiritually brainwashed dogmatists instead of learning to recognize who and what you are, which is obviously your body.