Adam - Please know that I am praying for you. This journey of healing has been an awful ordeal for most of us . It has been a bitter sweet victory as many of us live with the losses that our illnesses have created. We are reminded daily of where we could or should have been had we not got sick. However none of us gave up. None here anyway.
I too was on heavy psychiatric medications for 14 years. The diagnoses was bipolar disorder with severe anxiety. I have been completely drug free for the last 4.5 years. The need for drugs to heal the body is just another lie we have been told.
So Adam if you say you are dying then you probably are. I was there at one time also. But I chose to fight the greatest battle of my life. I hope you will choose life and ask your higher power for the strength and conviction to do it.