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Don't understand what to do next
 
NessAppeal Views: 1,133
Published: 12 y
 

Don't understand what to do next


Recently a huge conflict stirred between me and my now ex girlfriend. She decided on Friday night to get completely wasted and start drama between us. Friday was my mom's birthday so when I got off work I decided to go spend a little time with her. Meanwhile the woman I've been with for six months is back at our apartment getting completely wasted. Once I arrived home she is saying how we ran out of liquor and that she wanted more. I decided to go to the liquor store. On our way back she is telling me how she drunk she already is and I can see how the liquor is taking an affect on her personality. My woman is someone who cut from a different cloth. She has moments where she becomes extremely mannish and acts almost as if she was born with a d**k in between her legs. Well she decided to be in one of those moods while drunk. We get home and she is still being the same way. I'm ignoring it because I knew if I did it would quickly blow over, but then she starts to jump in my face telling me she wants to fight. That aggravates me but doesn't move me. I try my best to calm her down but she ignores me. Suddenly I feel her hand go across my face. HARD!!! I see the flashy lights and my face begins to sting. There's also ringing in my ear. Initially I do nothing but ask her why she hit me. I ask her over and over and over again and she keeps egging a fight on so I punch her in the eye. Once I do that I'm riled up. I'm ready to rip her head off her shoulders. We get in our boxing stance as if we're ready to rumble but before anyone throws a swing she stops, looks @ me, and says "I'm calling the police on you". She walks off goes to reach for her phone and I lose my mind. I begin to call her out her name all the while hysterically laughing @ the disbelief that she was calling the cops on ME after egging me on to fight her. I started to think about my livelyhood. About how she just switched her victim button on but 15 seconds ago she was acting like Mr. Tough Guy. I started thinking about how I have two jobs to keep and bills and a reputation to maintain and she set me up to ruin me. That's what it felt like. A set up. So while she's talking crap about calling the cops on me I begin to beat on her. And beat her and beat her and didn't stop until about 6am. The beating started @ about 2am. While I'm attacking her and she's screaming begging me to stop and fighting me back a little I'm getting more drunk and I start to care less about her. She's calling everyone in her family making me out to look like a criminal. She even calls her ex and she came running over to "rescue" her. That really hurt me because this same person is still in love with her. Then she tells me "That is where I'm suppose to be". She leaves and once I wake up I start to feel extremely guilty. I felt like the worst person on earth. I call and beg for forgiveness. Now she's back...But for what? All she has been doing is making me feel horrible. Pushing me hard. I want to care but her attitude towards me comes off vendictive. I feel like she wants to break me. Am I selfish?
 

 
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