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Going Through abuse again.
 
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Published: 9 years ago
 

Going Through abuse again.


HI Everyone,

I am a 23 year old guy. I am small built with blonde hair and blue eyes. When I was 15 I had a good friend at school. He was way larger than me and they were very rich. We always use to be at his parent's house as they had a massive house with all kinds of things to do. His parents were almost never there for some reason.

We were always just hanging around doing normal things. Things started devoloping over time were he was very interested in asking me sexua| questions. This was very strange to me, I was never "sexual" before. I had never even mastrubated, I honestly didn't know what it was really or how you do it.

He introduced me to p 0 r n and showed me how to mastrubate. It was going on for a while, when he one day said it much better if someone else does it for you.

I remember going home without engaging with him in the conversation, but he kept showing his penis to me and rubbing it against me.

One night we decided to have a camp out in the back-yard. He invited another boy, who was also much bigger than I. When we were in the tent, the 3 of us, he had brought his laptop and we watched p 0 r n.

Eventually they started playing with each other and me... He was very interested to suck my penis all the time and did not even pay much attention to the other boy. I remember them telling me to suck them, but I gagged and hated it. I could not do it. They carried on like this for a couple of hours. Eventually we fell asleep. I woke through the night with him sucking my penis or playing with it. He would take my hand and put it on his penis and I had to jerk him off.

This incident in the tent was the first time something like this has happened to me.

The next day, we were packing up and was in the room getting my things together. They both were in there also. They closed the room. I was kneeling down rolling up my sleeping bag. The invited boy was lying on the bed. My "friend" came up behind me and pushed my head down and tried pulling my pants down. I was trying to struggle away but he was really much bigger than me. He got my pants down and was jerking on my penis. He tried to put his penis on my bum, but I was cletching, he kept trying. The other boy just lay on the bed laughing and looking. This was very embarrising for me.

I eventually went home and so life went on.

I would still visit my friend as often as always, but things were allot different. He would always want to have sex with me and suck on my penis.

I would often wake up at night with him fondling me or sucking on me, but would just pretend to be asleep and he would carry on untill he finished.

I was so emabarresed about what was going on, but he was in my class and was threatening me with exposing our secret and that would make me gay.

This went on for 2 + years.

Thank God, my parents told me we were moving to another town. We moved and I was rid of him.

Once we moved, things returned back to normal. I was very depressed for the next couple of years and very confused. I was cutting myself often.

Things got bad after school for some reason.

I tried commiting suicide once with overdose but it failed. After a girl rejected me.

I went to the doctor after the failed attempt and he put me on anti-depressants.

I drank allot and went out to parties often. I met a guy who introduced me to pot and we smoked it often. We were really good friends and shared allot. I never told him about what happened to me before. I was very confused at this point in my life.

One night I had a breakdown and told him I think I was gay.

He accepted it and did not judge me. I dont know why I told him that, because I never had sex with another man except that "friend" in school. I had sex with 2 girls when we were drunk. I did not find it strange, it felt right.

Eventually I moved on my own to another town. I left that friend behind and never spoke again.

In the new town I was all alone. I never smoked pot again and got a great JOB. I tried commiting suicide about a month after I moved but a girl(TRACY) I met at the office luckily came to visit that evening and caught me before I could go through with it.

Me and tracy eventually started dating and we got married last year september. I am off the pills and I am doing really well.

However, my doctor is now molesting me. I just came from the doctors office. I am in tears. My wife is out for the day and I dont know who to talk to.

He started a few months ago, but extremely subtle. I was very wearry about him.
Every single time I go there, no matter what for, he undresses me completely and I lay naked on the bed.

He touches my penis allot. The last time I was there, as he was fideling around i got an erection.... He asked me to stand up, and then he "hugs" me. He sqeeses my bum to feel if I have back pain or something.

I know what he is doing but for some reason I oblige to his every request.

I spoke to our pastor about the doctor and he said I am probably just paranoid, this is a old doctor in the town and thats just his way of doing things, If I am unconfortable, I should go to another doctor.

I was at the doctor today, he phoned me and said I need to come get a prescription.

While I was there, again, totally naked. He was concerned about my fast heart rate, but it is just because I am afraid. He was very intimite today with me. He stood up against me and pressed his penis against mine, he had his clothes on. He touched my penis often and "rubbed" it. Againg I had an erection. He stood behind me and kinda bent me over and rubbed against me.

I feel guilty for getting an erection, I dont know why it is happening?

This new experience is really getting to me, I have not even come to grips with the last time.

I am fully aware about what is happening, and I am terrified of going, but every time he phones me, I go.

I am so upset with him and I want to expose it, but somehow I need more evidence. I am going along with it so I can find a way to get evidence. I was thinking of taking a camera of some sort to catch him. I think he is doing it ot other guys also?

I cant tell anyone because, how do I prove it?

I am willing to put myself through this torture again so I can catch him, I want to have the basterd locked up or someting.

Any advice?
 

 
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